Who Am I? Identity, Strengths & Values

Welcome to Lesson 1 of 4 in Discovering You. It takes about 15 minutes.

Together we will hear what God says about who we are before we do anything, notice the strengths he has placed in our hands, and name the values we live by. You will finish with an identity statement in your own words: the first piece of your Discovery Profile.

Scripture comes from the King James Version. This is a course for learning and reflection, not counselling, and it cannot promise particular results.

In this lesson you will

• Tell an event from a verdict, and explain from Ephesians 2 why we work from our worth, not for it.
• Name two strengths with real evidence, and one weakness, honestly and without shame.
• Choose three core values and write a first identity statement in your own words.

Before you start

How true is each of these for you today, from 1 (not true) to 5 (very true)?

• I can say who I am without mentioning my job, my family role or my income.
• I can name my strengths without boasting and without putting myself down.
• How I spend my time and money shows what I say I value.

1. Who we are comes before what we do

Ask most people who they are, and they answer with what they do, what they have, what people say, what they have done or where they belong. These are good gifts. The trouble starts when one becomes the foundation, because every one of them can change.

Imagine Alima, who has just started her first job. Her manager corrects a report in front of the team, and on the way home she thinks, “I am useless.” “My report had mistakes” is an event. “I am useless” is a verdict. Learning to tell them apart is the first step in knowing who we are.

Paul puts God's order into one sentence.

Ephesians 2:8–10 (KJV) 8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

First grace: “by grace are ye saved through faith”. Then who we are: “we are his workmanship”. Then good works. Works come after grace; they are not the payment for it.

For us who are in Christ, Dr. Shawn Smith teaches that our true identity is that of a son or child of God, included in Christ's finished work, with nothing added to grace. We do not earn our place in the family. We receive it.

So we still care about good work, and we fix the mistakes in the report. We just do not need the manager's mood to tell us who we are. We work from our worth, not for it.

Think about it: Which of the five do you lean on most? What happened the last time it was shaken?

Try this week: Each time this week that you feel your worth go up or down, write one line: what happened (the event) and what you told yourself (the verdict).

2. Strengths are gifts, and they leave evidence

Some of us hide our strengths because naming them feels proud. Others use them to prove we are better than the next person. Scripture gives a third way.

1 Peter 4:10–11 (KJV) 10 As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 11 If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

Every believer has received something. We are stewards of it: it is God's, placed in our care. And it is for one another.

A strength leaves evidence. Look in four places:

• What people thank you for, again and again.
• What comes easily that others find hard.
• What you do with care, even when nobody checks.
• What gives you energy: you end tired but glad.

Dr. Paul Enenche teaches that knowing who you are includes knowing your gifts, your strengths and your weaknesses. So name a weakness too, in three honest sentences: It is real (“I struggle to speak in front of people”). It is not my identity (I am a child of God who finds this hard). It is a place to grow or to ask for help. A weakness named can be worked on; a weakness hidden usually grows.

Think about it: What do people keep bringing to you, or asking you to help with?

Try this week: Ask two people this week: “What is one thing I do that helps you?” Write down their exact words.

3. Values you protect when it costs you

A value is not what we say matters. It is what we protect when it costs us something. Jesus gives a simple way to find our real values.

Matthew 6:19–21 (KJV) 19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: 20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: 21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Our heart follows our treasure: our time, our money and our attention.

Imagine a man in his second year of work. Ask him what matters most and he says, “My family.” Yet for three months he has not called home, and every free evening goes to extra shifts for a new phone. He has a stated value (family) and a lived value (the next purchase). Seeing a gap like this is not a reason for shame. It is the first honest step.

We do not invent our values from nothing. The prophet Micah sums up what the Lord asks of us.

Micah 6:8 (KJV) 8 He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with thy God. Our personal values, such as honesty, family, excellence or generosity, grow on top of these. A good test for any value: does it help me love God and love my neighbour?

Think about it: Where did most of your free time and spare money go last month? What does that suggest you value?

Try this week: Choose one of your values and do one small, visible thing to protect it this week, even if it costs you something.

Activities

Reflection

• Which source of identity do you lean on most, and what would it look like to hold it a little more loosely?

Key takeaways

• An event (“my report had mistakes”) is not a verdict (“I am useless”).
• Grace comes before good works. We work from our worth, not for it.
• Strengths are gifts held in trust for others, and they leave evidence. Name a weakness honestly too.
• A value is what you protect when it costs you. Your time and money show your lived values.

Your next step

You have finished Lesson 1. You are on the path of growth: you have written who you are, what you have been given and what you will protect.

Growth is easier with someone walking alongside you. KMA offers two ways to keep going:

Mentorship. Grow with a KMA mentor who helps you put what you discover into practice and follows up with you on it. See KMA's mentorship packages. See the mentorship packages

Or: the monthly Learning membership. Prefer to learn on your own first? KMA's monthly Learning membership takes you deeper in Communication, Leadership, Financial Intelligence, Enterprise Building, and AI and Automation. See the Learning membership