Digital Communication Etiquette

Welcome to Lesson 4 of 4 in Communication Foundations. It takes about 15 minutes.

We now speak to more people through a screen than face to face: chat groups, email, video calls, social media. Messages travel instantly, can be copied without limit, and may never disappear. This lesson covers tone, timing and the difference between casual and professional. Then a short quiz on the whole course, and your Communication Style Profile. Finish all four lessons to unlock your certificate and the Finding My Voice badge.

Scripture comes from the King James Version. This is a course for learning and practice, and it cannot promise particular results.

Since last time

Last time you chose a small action: putting the main point in the first two lines, reading a message aloud and cutting a sentence, or writing a clear request that leaves the reader free.

Look back at the week. What did you try, and what did you notice? If you did not manage it, say so honestly and carry it into this week.

In this lesson you will

• Show up well in messages, email and groups: the right tone, the right timing, and the right channel for casual and professional matters.
• Recall the main habit from each lesson of the course: speaking, listening, writing and digital communication.
• Describe your own communication style, with your why, in a short profile.

Before you start

How true is each of these for you today, from 1 (not true) to 5 (very true)?

• I would be content for anyone to read the messages I sent this week.
• I pause before replying when a message has annoyed me.
• I know which of the four communication skills is my strongest and which needs most work.

1. A person behind every screen

People type things they would never say to a face. The screen hides the eyes of the person reading, and we forget they are there. Jesus gave one sentence that covers every message we will ever send.

Matthew 7:12 (KJV) 12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Before you send, turn the message round. How would it land if it arrived on your phone, from them, on a tiring day?

That one test settles most questions of digital manners:

• Timing. Reply within a reasonable time; "Received, I will answer tomorrow" is better than silence. Respect people's hours: a late-night work message can wait until morning.
• Casual or professional. A friend's chat can be relaxed. A message to a manager, customer or church leader needs a greeting, full sentences and a clear ask.
• Praise in the group; correct in private.

Imagine a supervisor who posts in the team chat, "Whoever did the stock count got it wrong again." Eleven people read it. One knows it is her. A private message, or better a quiet word, would have done the job.

Think about it: Which message have you received that hurt because of how or where it was sent?

Try this week: Before each message this week that corrects or disagrees, ask: “Would I be content to receive this, here, in front of these people?”

2. Pause before you send

The great danger of digital messages is speed. An angry thought can be in fifty phones within ten seconds, and it cannot be called back.

Proverbs 15:28 (KJV) 28 The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.

The righteous studieth to answer: he thinks first. Messaging apps are built for pouring out, so we have to build the pause ourselves:

• Annoyed? Wait an hour before you reply.
• Mind your tone. A message has no face or voice, so add the warmth on purpose: "Thanks for this. One thing to fix:" reads very differently from "Fix this." Avoid capitals and rows of exclamation marks.
• Before forwarding, ask: Is it true? Is it mine to share? Is it kind and useful?
• When it gets heated, change the channel. Three tense messages in a row is the signal to call or meet.

Think about it: Think of a message you regret sending. What would an hour's pause have changed?

Try this week: The next time a message annoys you, wait at least one hour before replying.

3. Your communication style

Over four lessons you have practised four skills. Together they answer one question: what does this person need from me, now, and how should it reach them?

• Listening tells you what the person needs. It comes first.
• Speaking gives you one clear point, said with respect.
• Writing puts the main point first and asks plainly.
• Digital manners choose the right tone, timing and channel.

Everyone has a natural style: some of us are strong speakers and impatient listeners; others write clearly and avoid the phone. Knowing your style tells you where to grow. Below, you will write your Communication Style Profile: your strongest skill, the one you are growing, and your why from Lesson 1.

When you are ready to use these skills in business, for branding, selling and pitching, KMA's Communication Track takes you there.

Think about it: Which of the four skills comes most naturally to you, and which do you avoid?

Try this week: Show your Communication Style Profile to one person who knows you well, and ask whether they agree with it.

Activities

Reflection

• Who has noticed a change in how you communicate since you began this course? If nobody has, what would make it visible?

Key takeaways

• There is a person behind every screen: write as you would want to be written to.
• Mind timing and tone, and match casual or professional to the person.
• Pause before you send, and ask three questions before you forward.
• Know your style: your strongest skill, the one you are growing, and your why.

Your next step

You have finished Lesson 4, the last lesson of Communication Foundations. You are on the path of growth: you know your communication style and you can say your why.

These lessons give you the everyday basics. To keep growing, KMA offers two next steps:

Mentorship. Grow with a KMA mentor who helps you practise in real situations and follows up with you on what you tried. See KMA's mentorship packages. See the mentorship packages

Or: the Communication Track (monthly Learning membership). Prefer to learn on your own first? The Communication Track turns these everyday skills into business skills: brand strategy, copywriting, digital marketing, persuasion and pitching, and reading the numbers. See the Communication Track